Someone shit on the floor
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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