i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
