I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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