Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
