People with herpes should wear stickers.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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