I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
