Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
