I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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