so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize