i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
