alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
