Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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