the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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