Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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