she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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