I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
