It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
