Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
