Got a toothbrush?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
