69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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