she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
