Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
