I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
