let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
