can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
