Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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