I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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