that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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