No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
