Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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