i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
