i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
