playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
