sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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