We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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