we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
