Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
