Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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