we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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