dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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