As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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