You really coming over, don't trick.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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