it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
