I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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