Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
