I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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