If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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