New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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