I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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