So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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