i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
