Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
