Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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