Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
