He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
