Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
