the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
