Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
