I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize