I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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