I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
