TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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