I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
